Feedback On Shelter (A Rocky Comic)

Hi there! thanks for sharing here, I'll give it a read here later today after some writing I need to do. Thanks for reaching out!

Ok, sorry it took a bit, I had a lot of comics to read through! Here is some feedback I have for you:

Good Stuff~
1. You clearly aren't afraid of backgrounds. That's awesome! Keep working on your perspective and they'll get even more solid. You're already doing more than most, so keep it up!
2. You handle emotions really well and they are consistent to each character. It's easy to see how frustration or happiness is unique to one character and show differently in another. That's a great way to make characters feel unique from each other.
3. Definitely consistent with the mother and daughter conflicts. It's good that her mother can see the things that Koko can't, and it's interesting that Koko doesn't seem to see or really acknowledge those issues. Good dynamic character there. Curious to see how it develops more.

Needs work~
1. Sometimes, the text is a bit hard to read. For example on the first page, some of the text in the upper left corner is muddied by the artwork and I have to struggle to read it. You could solve this by adding a while border/stroke around your text. A lot of manga do this to help readability.
2. Some panels have way too many tones on them and it's hard to see the characters. The first instance was the first panel on page 2. There's a lot of detail going on, and adding so many tones makes it hard to see yoru characters. Contrast is just as important as detail, and when everything is about the same type of grey, it's hard to see. Try using less tones of the same color, and stick to 10%, 30%, 50%, and 70% grey, and then Black and White. Sometimes less is more!
3. I would also suggest you be consistent with grammar and punctuation. If you plan on adding punctuation, be sure you do the proper things for all your bubbles and thoughts. Here's a guide for some advice that was really helpful for me: https://blambot.com/pages/lettering-tips
4. I think the last thing I'll point out is that it feels a bit odd that Koko wants to be a healer, yet seems to against it after she gets her Chu. I get that she doesn't want these, but it feels maybe a little out of character? If she wants to be a breeder so bad, why is she so upset over getting something like a Guinea Pig? (I'm just curious what she has against them haha)

@ArtCrumbs I agree with everything here and I jave actually been worried about the less is more part, I always worried if I didn't have enough, would it look bland? I have been thinking about this in my recent write ups and it has been done for the most part, thankfully (in my opinion)

The inly thing I disagree with is the 4th element. It could be a mess up on my part (I may have no conveyed it well back then) but Kokabi does not want to be a healer (nor does she resent her role, merely she resents she is seen as being unable to pursue a breeder role because her sister Thia already fills said role, and was only able to after bothering her mother enough) Looking back at what I wrote I dont remember ever writing she wanted to be a healer, maybe at one point I wrote a specific piece of dialogue that made it seem that way and I don't remember. If so, please tell me because thats a huge error on my end.

What comes to mind is when she tends to puu, but thats simply something that came with her role as an alchemist/apothecary. Its a skill she already has based off her assigned role. She is simply using what she already has as a skill and this will actually be elaborated on when I post the chapters I have finished later on. I thought I didnt have to spell it out because Botanicals (the name of their shop, referring to plants) are used for cosmetics and remedies. (Fun fact: they also do more miscellaneous stuff but the focus is in the aformentioned) It's on the first page and I thought people would pick up on that but I guess I messed up because its not the main focus of the page, its very small and I'll probably edit that on the final draft release when I finish this to make that more clear. Thats definitely my bad and I can't blame you for not noticing such a footnote

She is upset she can't pursue a new role, but she understands her role in the family. She doesnt want to only do that, if that makes sense. She is fine with her talents, it just isnt the only thing she want's to do.

Another fun fact relevant to the discussion: she doesnt want to receive guinea pigs because the popular belief (as someone who owns guinea pigs) is that they are easy animals. (Spoiler, they really arent as explained in the first chapter. They are high matenance and need a friend, it is not recommended they be bought alone) I also assumed I did not have to explain that, either but then again that depends in the readers knowledge of guinea pigs. (I have a difficult time picking and choosing what and when to explain things. I am mindful of over explaining or telling and not showing. I try my best not to make the audience feel like they are stupid and sometimes, i end up missplacing it)

As you read through the manga you will see she always prefers to be challenged (besides the one part after her and Neolo fight where she explains her and her sisters don't fight very well or rough, they aren't the smartest pairs and she has no experiencing in what real combat is. Thia does, but her insinuated illegal activity because of said combat background would not be tolerated at the home, hence why her mother is angry at her even dhowing up back home, but I wanted to keep the specific reason ambiguous and up for interpretation for now. So, there's some lore)

All in all I could definitely update some things and make things a little more clear, but its good to know my only mistakes are in the early chapters and not all over the place. I am glad to have grown a lot on my own, even if it was slow. I will consider everything else and run my stuff through a grammar checker. In later chapters its usually smaller mistakes but I had some pretty big mess ups early on its practically horrid lol.

I'll also work on text. Sometimes, I get worried that if I dont make things expressive or intricate enough to show whats going on or to make it interesting it'll be boring and I end up screweing up and forgetting "Hey, idiot, you need soace for your dialogue" I have been trying to remedy that in recent chapters and that has been a common complaint I exoected from the few people who actually do want to see me improve. I definitely plane to fix that as well in the final release

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad I can do better with this info