Warp Hustler

Laguna Studios Support

Austin, 2021: Janice Hoffman's a 34 year-old pot-smoking slacker working at the last video store in Texas. Her life may look aimless and boring, but she's watching every Star Trek episode ever in in-universe chronological order and already made it through 3 seasons of Enterprise. So there. Also, she may get shot in the face for choosing the wrong color swatch. New Jersey, 1937: A very confused Janice materializes on the Hindenburg for 21 seconds as it's engulfed in flames. A different Austin, 2021: An adult Janice with a child brain briefly appears on top of a parking garage. A stylishly-dressed woman wants her to take a message to Bob (this may also involve getting shot in the face). Mexico City, 1987: Baby Janice is maybe being abducted by maybe-aliens. No Damn Idea: Janice is running from totally-for-sure-aliens who travel on kaiju-sized hermit crabs. Janice is speaking Spanish with a 7 ft tall gas-masked zombie in what looks an awful lot like a 1920s German Expressionist sci-fi movie. Janice is free-falling through the thermosphere of a gas giant, in the exact 21 seconds of time and space where it won't cause her to asphyxiate, freeze, burn or explode. Also, possibly in a meta-level where time is moot: Janice is consulting with an infinitely large publishing house on the comic book adaptation of her life story (which itself possibly only ever happened in a comic book). It's written and painted by infinite chimpanzees, a miracle of temporal engineering that was humanity's final FU to AI writers and artists. Through all this, one thing's always the same: Janice is waiting for Bob. Partly to explain WTF is happening, but mainly to kick his ass.

English