Episode 1
The Genesis Sect
A boy from the modern world meets an unexpected fate — his soul is torn from Earth and reborn in a realm of immortals.
Chosen by a mysterious System, he awakens in a heavenly blessed land, a paradise hidden from the world.
With nothing but the System’s guidance and his will to survive, he begins his journey to create the Genesis Sect — a sect that will one day shake the heavens, challenge destiny itself, and carve his name into eternity.
PirouettingFleetingSpoon974 2 weeks ago
please support me for more chapters
TigerRider 2 weeks ago
edit the text more
PirouettingFleetingSpoon974 2 weeks ago
@TempestuousDwarf755: sure i will try , any suggestion or please a little more define how?
TigerRider 2 weeks ago
@PirouettingFleetingSpoon974:
Pg1 one of countless lands
Pg3 cultivators immortality, and I'm not sure what everything after the comma is supposed to say
Pg4 second speech bubble is to the wrong person
Pg5 first speech bubble is to the wrong person. Second speech bubble idk what you're trying to say
Pg6 did THE fever fry your brain
Pg7 had a divine dream
Etc, plus like the dialogue is clunky and just weird in general. Probably get someone fluent in English to edit it.
And with the story, he's a murim isekai reviver with game mechanics, like those are fairly common tropes both separate and together.
You gotta figure out an original spin to it, something unique. I got bored by like page 10. I've seen this done better multiple times.
TigerRider 2 weeks ago
@PirouettingFleetingSpoon974: oh and the page format. not enough going on in each page, frame it better. either multiple panels like comics/manga. or vertical scroll like webtoons/ manwha.
and don't be limited by the boxes
PirouettingFleetingSpoon974 2 weeks ago
@TigerRider: thanks i will take this all points seriously and try my best in story and dialouges from chapter 5 .