Episode 1
This Isn't My Beautiful House
I wrote a beautiful synopsis once, but it died. Like the kid's parents. And what a synopsis it was! My synopsis bore it all. Naked. Unafraid. It wasn't like the kid's parents. It didn't die and leave me to take care of its snotty kid. It was nice to me. It explained everything. It knew me. It WAS me.
What you know about gag-a-day comics are dead too. This comic is a lie, just like me. There's a plot, but it's not linear. Hope you can follow. I hope you can see me.
Episode 2
Not Safe For Microwaves
Don’t try to microwave soup cans at home! Or you’re going to totally ruin Mr. Blue’s Day!
The year is 2003, Rory is in first grade.
Episode 4
I Love Roses of Versailles
THE YEAR IS ALWAYS. Secrets revealed. Hearts broken. When it comes down to it, who are you? Are you merely the sum of what you like? How will Dr. J find a parenting question out of this? The answers to these questions will be be revealed next time on!— [ shot ]
Episode 5
Always Low Prices
THE YEAR IS 2003. IT’S JULY. MAKE SURE YOUR SCISSORS ARE KID-SAFE!
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(I want to thank @/voidstricken on Twitter for letting me include their character Lisa in a special little cameo! I love their art so much, so you should check them out!)
Episode 6
Chip Chip Cheerio!
THE YEAR IS 1994. Chip is Rory’s dad. He’s not around anymore. Fun guy!
Episode 7
Eye See You
THE YEAR IS 2003, SPECIFICALLY THE BEGINNING OF FEBRUARY. The division of personal assets. I told you all Chip wasn’t around anymore.
Episode 8
Don't Beat Yourself Up Over It!
You might notice this week's header looks a little different. It is! It's a header created by my little brother! It's so cute!
Episode 9
Those Effervescent Orbs
THE YEAR IS 2003.
This week has been rough. Not as rough as living a life without Rasheed’s eyes, though.
This was originally posted on the week of BIANCA REDD'S BIRTHDAY, on October 13th. She had RUDELY hacked the green square industry side of the comic just to say it's her birthday! Sorry you missed out on BIANCA REDD'S birthday bash!
Who is Bianca? Well,.. she loves to play with basketballs.
Episode 10
The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater
This is set a little before Rory's parents died. That man getting coffee? He's Canadian. And Mr. Blue is right, anyway... that guy is part of the Blue family!!! Also, he doesn't matter and you're never going to see him again.
Episode 11
He's Teething
Did you know that Monarch butterflies are poisonous?
Episode 12
No Reruns
If you're curious, this is specifically set in EARLY July 2003! The date is very important. All the years are important, all the numbers...
Can you imagine?! Having to count so much?! A soon-to-be first grader's nightmare!
Episode 15
Just A Dash of Paprika
THE YEAR IS 2001. Just some good cooking fun. Rory and his dad used to make soup together a lot. For a reason, of course, there's always a reason!
Episode 16
The Poet's Daffodil
THE YEAR IS 2003. You know what they say: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXQIYxS-Q00
This comic, as said before, was created via the help of @skelterheiter on Twitter! Without his sketches, the comic would look nowhere as sick and cool as it does now. His work is outstanding, and I am so lucky that he lent his hand. Thank you, Matt!
Episode 17
The Last Christmas Day.
THE YEAR IS 2024, WITH THOUGHTS TOWARD CHRISTMAS DAY 2002. THE VERY LAST CHRISTMAS.
A little flash to the future, a flash to the past.
Episode 26
Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)
It's the fly episode. I'm not sorry.
Episode 27
The Pummel
No Emerald Ash Borers were harmed in the making of this comic, but they should have been. Don't actually punch them dead, find actual ways to kill the infestation that doesn't harm the tree.
Episode 28
The Most Sincerest Form of Flattery
It's a good thing crayons are non-toxic these days.
Episode 40
LMNO-IEP (Guest Artist)
A thank you to @acidkeylime for bringing this comic's script to life.
Episode 58
Sleep Story
I'm going to experiment with posting the page versions of these instead.
Episode 59
How Do You Keep Getting In Here?!
Does that count as Mr. Brown's debut? Kind of? In spirit? He smells like dust! And mothballs!