Issue #1 — WI-FIGHT OF THE ANCIENT

Reeferan Greenleaf can negotiate with matter, bend resonance, and insult reality into compliance. What he cannot do is get the Dank Tower Wi-Fi to stop dying every twenty minutes. When a basic connection problem becomes a personal affront to wizard dignity, Reeferan answers with signal-binding ritual work, password tribute logic, and old-world arcane warfare against a system that has no soul and too many permissions. The result is immediate disaster: devices begin choosing sides, the tower’s tech turns hostile, memory starts skipping, and the neighborhood suffers a cascading tantrum of haunted modern convenience. By the time Reeferan claws his way to an ugly partial victory, the damage has already spread beyond his walls. Worse, somewhere in the city grid, something official finally notices the Dank Tower.